Let It Be.

If you let go a little — you will have a little happiness.
If you let go a lot — you will have a lot of happiness.
If you let go completely — you will be free.  
Ajahn Chah


There are some wonderful things in life that are only meant to last a moment.

Maybe the world gave you a gift for that moment, but it is not yours to hang onto.

It hurts when you find something great and beautiful, and then have to let it go, but it is absolutely debilitation to sit with the deflated hope and continually mourn this loss.

On the other side of this though, are things in life that are only meant to last a moment, but feel like they will be with you unto death.  That moment when it feels like evil is on full attack, and won't stop until you are completely devoured, and at that moment, eternity fills up a moment.

 The world is full of extremes.  One moment you may be holding on to the most beautiful gift of love and intimacy, and the next at the bottom of a pit of despair and darkness.

What do you do when the evil in this world touches your life?  When you've been hurt one too many times, and no longer feel safe to trust.
How do you say goodbye to love, and continue to have a childlike hope and expectation that it will touch your life again?

How do you react and cope when moving from a temporary home of excess and plenty, and back to scarcity and chaos?
How do you plan and prepare to fly to the moon, when you are chained to debts, contracts, and expectations here on earth?

How do you look to the future, when you are haunted by the past?

“Life is to be lived, not controlled; and humanity is won by 

continuing to play in face of certain defeat.” 

― Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man

Suggested Reads:  

Letting Go of Attachment, from A to Zen

How to Deal With Unfairness and Change the Things You Can

The Mindful Coach: Jack Kornfield, Letting Go

Camp: Love, Romance, Flings, and Friendships at Camp

Wet Hot American Summer. Watch it.

Camp is an interesting bubble, where life continues, but at an accelerated rate.  It's like an adult version of High School.... and a less supermodel version of Big Brother...  People come with these secret lives and crazy background stories, and some with serious commitments, that they don't always share.  Even if they should.

You learn quickly in this tiny world harsh lessons of trust, truth, and even yourself in all of it.  You never know how far you are willing to stretch your morals and set boundaries, until you face the opportunity to do so.  And this opportunity often makes the most compelling arguments.


In regards to love, romance, flings, etc., there are certain stories that repeat themselves over and over again though.

- There is the night that you spend with a guy you thought was a cool guy, where you engage in just about anything ranging from a dance to a full night, and then the next day, he walks around like he doesn't know you.  OR she- girls do it too.  Just somebody that I used to know... My favorite is when they avoid you like the plague, and don't make eye contact, because who knows what will happen after that.  It's like what I do to vendors at the swap meet- if I make eye contact, then I feel like I have to show some respect for them as human and at least make some convo.

- Then there are people in weirdly complicated semi/maybe relationships with someone back home, but they are starting to really like you and it scares the shit out of them.  So what do they do?  Normally freak, and then who knows what.  A lot of the times you are apart of this and have no clue that you are, so you are left just confused.

- There are those in committed relationships, who do all that they can to build boundaries so that they can respect this relationship.  This HAS to be INTENTIONAL, because we are HUMAN.

- Then there are those who are also in a committed relationship... but don't really care. And some of these people tell you straight up, and others put on a mask and hide it.  Of course, with these come the partners who are willing to step into this world of infidelity with them. If you don't know the girl/guy, and they are never made real in your mind by the other person, then they become forgettable.  Unfortunately.  In the real world, you tend to have your head on straight, morals in full sight, and accountability just around the corner.  When you are at camp, you are left to your own devices.

Hot Wet American Summer

- And then... there are those sparking relationships that lead you into this "summer love"or infatuation... which can end up in so many ways.  This, well honestly, I am not too sure about, as I am still living through my own things.  From the last experience though I found that after the summer some people that I really connected with found a way back into my life... and we still talk to this day. Camp love can last though: Some people meet in the summer, and keep in touch over the years, until they can meet again.  Some continually meet up at camp, until circumstances allow them to move together.  Camp has led to happy couples, who fought diligently for love, but they are also experts at the scary reality that you may just have to let it go.  Let it be.  Let destiny do its thing.

BUT the Friendships you make at camp truly do last a lifetime.  Some counselors make an conscious effort to not get involved with anyone, just because of this.  The reality of camp though, is that you will struggle through it.  You will be tired, hungry, uncomfortable, homesick, etc. just like everyone else around you, and so you share the struggle with the friends you make.  Charles Caleb Colton once said that "the firmest friendships have been formed in mutual adversity, as iron is most strongly united by the fiercest flame." This makes these bonds unique and long-lasting, even across continents.  

I always miss by camp buddies. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My Camp Life/Love playlist:

 

New England: My Wonderful Summer in 30 seconds.

Thanks to: Di, Wales (loooowry), New Jersey (#welostdoug), Puerto Rico (Nilka), South Africa, Scotland (fook ohff), the Aussie, John, My Bessie Fav, Dominika, David, the unknowns, Team Turkey (Asli and Zozan), Team Turkey #2 (Burak and Fatih), Arizonas, #IP, Team Jamaica- including Hungary. Thor, Czech Team (Klara and Simush), Where is the golf cart?, the Irish ladies, New Hampshire, Emily, Cameron, the other Americans, Equipo Colombia Orozco and the others (yay others!), Pre Camp Staff, Equipo Mexico, Key Staff, PHOP, Bahstan, Brooklyn Chef, My Cali friend Chef, random drunk dude in my bro's car, and the three tall musketeers.

Going home

... And now... it's time to go home....

The girls took me to Boston...

Said quick goodbyes, and jumped out with my luggage.

At Boston Logan Airport

Goodbyes suck.

6 hours later....

A friend posted later that leaving is not the hardest part... it is the memories of moments that continually pop up after.  In all the trips that I have been on, this has been so true, and coming home is like coming down from an exhilarating high.... Reality is slow and your home has continued on, without any consideration for all that you just experienced.  

I have never gotten so close to a group of people so quickly in my life.  I had so many wonderful experiences this summer, I am sure that I will be retelling great memories for a long while.

Lake Winnipesaukee, NH: Mt. Major Hike

We finally got to do a hike!!!

.... and I am so out of shape.... damn.

3.4 mile loop

http://alltrails.com/trail/us/new-hampshire/mount-major-trail