Citizen of the world...

" I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world. "

Refuge

"The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
    my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
    my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." Psalms 18

Graduation

I have officially graduated!

I am so excited about this degree. I actually feel so accomplished. In crazy debt, but accomplished.  

A lot has to do with me being insecure, and unsure about my abilities.  

I have always doubted myself, as I struggled to prove myself to my professors and peers.  The completion of this degree became almost symbolic of the fact that I have conquered my adhd, and faults that come with that.  Don't misunderstand me though, I have by no means perfected this, but I don't feel chained to them anymore.  

I'll write more on this later.

The professors and admins made a line and clapped us through.

Since the Masters in Business Admin courses were online, the graduates that showed up was a very small group.

^^^Getting my diploma^^

My Facebook Status that day: Corny post time! So today is officially graduation day. I now can put MBA after my name. It's crazy to think how far I've come in life, but what is crazier and amazes me, is the amount of support that I've been blessed with, whether for a moment, or long term. I barely made it through my undergrad, but was brought through by coworkers and supervisors who gave me a chance, and friends who especially understood the struggle.

Then there were others who entered my life, whether for a moment, or for the long haul. I worked too many jobs to count, and met some awesome people through it who have become long term friends and even family. Then there were people I just ran into, and who blessed me with their presence. Random strangers even! lol, like the New Yorkers that took pity on the crazy west coast girl with too much luggage and no clue how to work a subway system.

And of course, my family, always. Including some friends that have become family. Framily! They have been the greatest example to me, of what it means to love unconditionally. Meaning, we bug each other, we hurt each other, and we don't always keep in touch like we should, but we are family always. And God, goes without saying. He is the hope, love, and light in my life. I believe he brought you all into my life for a reason, and without you all, for better or worse, I would not be here.

Just had to post some recognition. Love you all, and thank you!

Hooded....

Not all adventure is happy....

I know I post a lot of my happy adventures here, but that does not mean that there isn't a lot of negatives, pain, and sorrow spinning in my life.  

I have mentioned that I battle with ADHD, but I did not mention I also battle with depression, and OCD tendencies.  The major things that I have learned in working through these is: 1) Find help- you cannot do it alone, 2) Do not allow yourself to stay stagnant in your situation.  My mom helped me a ton with the second.  

In not allowing yourself to become stagnant, this requires that you keep moving, pick yourself up, get out into the world, face your fears, etc.  This is not easy, what-so-ever, but it really is better to light a candle than it is to stay sitting in the dark.  It is like when I climb a mountain, and I am tired, and scared, and in pain, and it seems like the peak will never come.  I have seen a lot of people turn around when they were able to continue, and then some who came to the realization that this is not meant to be conquered today.  BUT they go back with a new plan to summit that mountain.  I've been on that end, and I've been to points where I wanted to turn around, but my fear and determination kept me going.  I've lost toenails, not been able to walk the next day, gotten heatstroke, but I made it, and I learned from it.  And strength is such, that once you achieve it, your body doesn't easily go back to what it was before your stressed it.  

So I write and post this, mostly for myself, as a reminder of what I seen, heard, done, and experienced.  I look at it a lot when I start to get depressed, and it helps.  It reminds me what God has brought me through. 

Finished....

I finished! And, I will be graduating with a Masters in Business Administration.  

Crazy, crazy, crazy.

It's funny, two and a half years ago, when I entered in this program, I had little confidence that I would do well.... Little did I know what the future had in store.  

And now, I have no clue what the future still has in store, but I think it'll turn out alright.  

Dear god.....

Please please please do not banish me to the corners of a full time job in retail. I can do repetitive jobs, but not in a uniform, forcing a smile all the time, giving the same answers over and over. I live for the emergencies and crazies here. 

I am grateful for the part time work though.