San Francisco, CA: Happy New Year!

We made it to San Francisco for the New Years!

Got up early, 3:30am, walked to the Metrolink, took the Metrolink in to Los Angeles Union Station, and then caught the Megabus up to San Francisco.  The ticket for the Metro was around $10/11, and the bus $35.  Not too bad.  

We got in to San Fran around 2:00p, walked a mile to our hostel, and slept until dinner time.  Got dinner, and then just explored and celebrated New Years in San Francisco!

                        

First we headed towards Chinatown.  We walked back and forth for some time, but finally ended up finding a group that was passing out maps to one another.  So we got a map, and ended up going the Sierra Hiking Club on a night hike up to Coit Tower.  They ended up making their way through the city, but we had to part to meet up with a friend who had just made her way in.  Pretty awesome.

We met some awesome people...

We had a rough time figuring out where to stand to see the fireworks, but it all worked out in the end.  Beautiful!

And then we waited for 2014 to end...

The Finale :)

And then took a decade to make it back.  

Given the opportunity...

... And I was... Whenever I party, I am... and these two songs ring true every time.

There is always the trap:

And the aftermath:

The more and more time I spend alone, the more and more I am learning to accept it, and I carry my secrets and my experiences like I carry my bracelets and earrings with me.    As I go further into this state though, the more I am also retreating into my own little world, and am becoming severely independent.  I don't want to be apart of a community, of a church... Actually, at this moment, I am staying away from Christian organizations and the church, although I don't want to stay away from God.  I don't have it in me to fake my way through anything anymore. I would rather just keep my mouth shut.

I am not a pure girl anymore.  I am not innocent.  I am not clean.  I understand what is out there, and I have tasted the world.  I have betrayed my roots, and my foundation, and question my faith and teachings.  It has taken me a long time to come to terms with this, and now I feel like I must make a choice:  I either accept this, stop being hurt, and just live life, Pura Vida, Carpe Diem - Or - I continue trying to be a part of some community somewhere, and continue to live in the hope that it will change.

I think I will embrace my change and life, and stop waiting for others to accept it in some specified community.

“Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt 

me. Of course we will hurt each other. 

But this is the very condition of existence. 

To become spring, means accepting the risk 

of winter. To become presence, means

 accepting the risk of absence.” 

― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, 

Manon, Ballerina

The unusual saga of the dental kind....

All of my freaking life, my teeth have given me hell.  To the point that I am afraid to travel at times, because of them. 

This week, the saga continued.  My back molar broke and I got it pulled. 

For the sake of venting, lets recap on the various disasters of my mouth.

*Childhood- Apparently sickness made me loose enamel during the development of my permanent teeth.

All of us were in pain, so why not try to look mean?

*2004- In Costa Rica, and 16 years old, and my front tooth got infected.  The infection got so bad I had to be taken to the hospital, where they drilled the tooth to drain it.  The kicker- they drilled without working anesthesia.  They had very basic anesthesia, but the infection was too far along for it to work.   I have never felt pain like this before in my life, and when she hit the nerve, I blacked out. But, afterwards, the pain was gone.

*2006-2009- The same tooth was crowned, and then the crown broke off,  So they took it out, and gave me a flipper.  Then finally, I was referred to a dentist in Beverly Hills, who gave me a discounted implant if I allowed him to use me a subject for teaching.  So I told him, by all means, teach away.  Best lesson: Beverly Hills sucks, and I got followed around the stores all the time, but I am grateful for the opportunity.

Just one more time... Vermont sucks.

*2013- New Hampshire, in the middle of nowhere, similar pain to Costa Rica.  I knew it was infection.  I found a dentist, who wanted to take a week to work it out, and who ended up kicking me out because I literally asked too many questions.  They called my camp to complain that I was rude when they extended me their hospitality and insisted on asking questions regarding cost and procedures instead of letting them just start the work.  I hate Vermont.  I did end up at another more compassionate place, who drained the infection for me and helped me out- Not in Vermont.  Suck it Vermont.

*2013-2014- Fontana, A specialized procedure had to be done to complete what had been started in New Hampshire.

*2014- This.

Three stars

I met a man, a traveler, who was searching for his way, his path... Actually, I've met quite a few of a similar story, and some have stuck in my life, while others offer trinkets of wisdom that were valuable for me at the time.  This one, I am still not sure what we accomplished for each other, except that we provided a sense of companionship to one another, for a moment.  It's like looking at the stars-  You are separate, by time space, and millions of miles, but when you watch them, you feel covered and like angels accompany you for a moment.

Another stolen moment for another lonely traveler.

You will be ok

At this moment, I sincerely wish I could sit a meditate on life, instead of continually producing work and progress.  It is difficult starting myself each day sometimes, but if I don't what will become of the work I have done thus far?  

There have been so many stolen moments, as we have come to call them, and I am left with only their memories, a further dream of the possible, and a longing for a moment that belongs to me.