Christmas workout

Bootcamp Christmas workout :)

The little things make it all beautiful.  These are some of the things that make bootcamp awesome.  

I love the enthusiasm of the directors and participants alike.  

Gettin' healthy!!!

A new year is coming up, and I am facing new realizations.

I realized that I avoid many of the outside activities with the Boot Camp peeps, because I am still embarrassed about my weight.  I already look foolish during the training, and I don't want to make it worse outside of it.

For instance,  I honestly wanted to attend the boot camp "winter olympics", but avoided it, because, besides the fact that I had family visiting,  I just knew that I would be the last one running... the last one in everything.  It sucks to hold the entire group up.  I did test my running 4 laps, on my own at the Biola track, and  I got 11:32 minutes, and that was running 30 secs, power walking 30 secs.

I hope that one day I will be able to run a 5k with them, or do other special things that they do, but as of now, I am still extremely terrified of exposing myself too much.  I am just not confident that I can handle this on my own right now.  I am already doing everything else on my own, and sometimes,  feeling so alone in it all is just the worse.

I know... I workout in boot camp groups, so feeling lonely is not easy to feel really.  It not so much a matter of being the last one really, but like the one so far behind, it is easy for someone to forget you were even there, and that is precisely where it gets lonely.... and when I fight embarrassment from taking over.  The overall environment of the camp certainly does make it easier to overcome this... but outside of it, I am not sure.

So, until I can even just keep up, I continue to stay away because of insecurity... I'm working on that.

I hope that this year, I can learn to "put myself out there" and do things that I want to, not letting embarrassment get to me, or keep me back.  Pura Vida!

Starting bootcamp/weight loss journey

My "Big Fat Reason" why I signed up for Bootcamp:




My Big Fat Reason Why I signed up for Bootcamp:

I want to change, and I want to be a better me.  I already started on this journey, but I really need some help.  I want to climb rocks, scale cliffs, sky dive, parasail, bunji jump, hike, bring supplies to rural villages, explore, study, etc.  I can't do these things now, because my health is in such bad shape, and I no longer want my health and weight to be a reason why I cannot do something.

In addition, I want to get my life, including my ADHD, in order, but lifestyle changes need to be made, in addition to the medication.  Nutrition is essential to managing ADHD, Depression, and Anxiety, because certain foods make the symptoms worse.   Sooooo..... here I go!

First goal:
     - Get down to 200 lbs, and be able to run 1.5 miles.
     - Get a nutrition routine going.  (Us ADHD folk benefit from routine)
     - Get my surrounding organized. (This is extremely difficult for ADHD peeps)

This is the second part to my reason why.... Some stories and info and examples and what-not.

#1- I want to live!!!!  I am so tired, all the time.  I get sick, I can't focus, and meds are not the answer. I need help.

#2- Guatemala, 2008- The church members we were working with wanted to do something special for us, so they planned a hike up a water volcano, and carried a full lunch for us.  Now that I look back, this was only probably a mile up, maybe a little less, but it was like climbing stairs all the way up.  I felt like I was going to pass out, and have to go back, and I almost did.  The locals carried pots, water, chicken, veggies, etc. on their head, and walked up like it was nothing.  I could have missed this opportunity because of my health.  Can you believe this?  In Costa Rica, we also had to climb a mountain to bring up medical supplies, but at that time I was dancing, a size 10, and in shape, and I was fine.  If I want to do this kind of work, this is just a reality, and for me, it is a requirement to such awesome opportunities.

The hike up (very steep) 

The view from the top

#3- I want to be in pics and love myself in them.

#4- Sky diving has a weight limit.  Anything past that and you need special equipment and lots more money.

#5- What if a person is chasing me, and I can't run away for more than 30 seconds?  Seriously, I am at the bottom of the food chain at this point.

#6- If I ever wanted to work in any physically and mentally demanding job, I need to be lighter, and at least be able to run 1.5 miles.

#7- I want to fit comfortably in:
               - airplane seats, roller coasters, water slides, Asian restaurants (in Asia, not a stereotype I promise)

#8- I don't want to wear t-shirts at the beach anymore.  I want to be able show my sexy arms.