A motivational speech for

In the beginning of my serious weight loss attempt journey, I saw a youtube skit form David So, making fun of his attempts as fitness, and it made sense to me. (Watch it here )

His latest vlog was a motivational speech "for our big asses", as he put it.  Excuse the cussing (my momma hates it, but she still didn't get offended, so don't either), but the point of what he said was great for a New Year of weight loss. Holla!

2012 Health, in review....

Last year, was a rough year for me.  So much happened, so much changed, and I was confronted with so much.  In the beginning of the year, I was especially confronted with my weight.

I graduated in May 2011, and my weight had tipped to an extremely high point, and my health, to a very low one.  It took me 5 years to graduate, and I made it the finish by the skin of my teeth.  I worked night shifts, stayed in my car, and worked full time to make it happened.  At the same time, I also sacrificed my health in the process.  After, I just slept and tried to recovery mentally, but so many years of abuse on my body, had taken a toll that rest could not fix.

I got sick, as normal, and lost my voice, which was better than the year before, where I almost came down with pneumonia  but the fatigue was unbearable.  So at the beginning of 2012, I decided to go to the doctors for a general check up, and to finally face what I had been avoiding for so long.

I went on February 1st, 2012 and my results were as follows:

Weight: 260 lb (weight on Jan 11 was 261lb and Dec 2012 265lb)

Blood Pressure: 114/72

Diagnosis: Asthma, Allergies, and Fatigue

Further Tests: Full Blood Test

Blood Test Results:
      - Vitamin D extremely low: 14, with standard range 30-100
      - Thyroid Normal
      - High cholesterol 210 (range <200)
      - Triglyceride OK 115 (range <150)
      - HDL 49 (range >/=40)
      - LDL 138 (range <100)
      - High Density Liproprotein 4.3 (<4.3)
      -  Glucose, fasting 83 (70-99)

So I joined a gym, and started on my way.  I tried learning by myself, and lost 20 pounds on my own,  but it stopped after a while...  Then I got an opportunity to join a a bootcamp, and I began really changing.

I just recently went back to the doctors and here are the results for 12/6/12


Weight: 235 lb

Blood Pressure: 106/69

Further Tests: Full Blood Test

Blood Test Results:
      - Vitamin D 31 (range 30-100)
      - Thyroid Normal
      - Cholesterol 172 (range <200)
      - Triglyceride 103 (range <150)
      - HDL 48 (range >/=40)
      - LDL 116 (range <100)
      -  Glucose, random 92 (70-140)



Now, this is just the physical, health part of it.  There is sooooo much more that went on in my head.... emotionally, spiritually.

Mostly, I had to get past debilitating shame and embarrassment ... I knew that in trying to do the same exercises that others do, I would look like a fat person trying to keep up with athletes.  Like the Rhino at the end of the herd in Jumanji.  It is terrifying.... you feel exposed, and so vulnerable, especially because there is really no pretty, or dignified way to exercise.  But I also knew that I could either let that stop me, or suck it up and work with it.  I decided to suck it up, and told myself that if I just keep going, one day I won't be embarrassed ... and it really does get easier at every step.  You just have to push yourself over the starting point, and get the momentum rolling.


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After finals, during the holiday, I bugged out on my diet.  I honestly did.

So this year... before I get to this same season, my goals are:

- To get my life organized by every detail.
                    - Last year I cleared out a ton, and worked with different systems to get organized.

- Master the diet, with 1 gallon of water and 2lbs veggies per day

2012 CA Human Trafficking Initiatives

Well, 2012 was a big year for Human Trafficking Initiatives... these were my adventures for the year

Mom really got involved with the Plurway Ministry, which is a ministry that reaches out to Ravers.  Essentially, moms go out to raves, pass out these bracelets, and help out ravers in need.  They pray and minister to them, but the majority of their time is spent helping people find their cars, rehydrate, sober up, stay safe, and those who are overdosing.  Drugs are a large part of these raves.

January 28- San Bernardino Coalition Against Sexual Exploitation, Human Trafficking awareness rally/walk.

The San Bernardino County DA, attended the event, and gave a promise to work with the SBCASE to help address the issues and need in SBC. 

January 30th- preview of the movie Flesh at the Fox Theater in Pomona.  

City Mayor made a proclamation to work to end human trafficking and exploitation in Pomona.

 

Febuary 23- Human Trafficking Presentation

Did a lot of these kinds of presentations, as the CASE Act ballot petitions were circulating, in the hopes of getting it on the ballot. 

March 11- The California Against Sexual Exploitation Act officially had enough signatures to be placed on the ballot, and in November, it was passed by Californians.  

March 12, 2012

Prevent Abuse Luncheon

With the Los Angeles National Police Officers Association

 

My uncle Vince :)

Michael Reagan as a speaker

May 18- Third Step Fundraiser

Christmas workout

Bootcamp Christmas workout :)

The little things make it all beautiful.  These are some of the things that make bootcamp awesome.  

I love the enthusiasm of the directors and participants alike.  

Gettin' healthy!!!

A new year is coming up, and I am facing new realizations.

I realized that I avoid many of the outside activities with the Boot Camp peeps, because I am still embarrassed about my weight.  I already look foolish during the training, and I don't want to make it worse outside of it.

For instance,  I honestly wanted to attend the boot camp "winter olympics", but avoided it, because, besides the fact that I had family visiting,  I just knew that I would be the last one running... the last one in everything.  It sucks to hold the entire group up.  I did test my running 4 laps, on my own at the Biola track, and  I got 11:32 minutes, and that was running 30 secs, power walking 30 secs.

I hope that one day I will be able to run a 5k with them, or do other special things that they do, but as of now, I am still extremely terrified of exposing myself too much.  I am just not confident that I can handle this on my own right now.  I am already doing everything else on my own, and sometimes,  feeling so alone in it all is just the worse.

I know... I workout in boot camp groups, so feeling lonely is not easy to feel really.  It not so much a matter of being the last one really, but like the one so far behind, it is easy for someone to forget you were even there, and that is precisely where it gets lonely.... and when I fight embarrassment from taking over.  The overall environment of the camp certainly does make it easier to overcome this... but outside of it, I am not sure.

So, until I can even just keep up, I continue to stay away because of insecurity... I'm working on that.

I hope that this year, I can learn to "put myself out there" and do things that I want to, not letting embarrassment get to me, or keep me back.  Pura Vida!

When, when, when...

When I get to the weight that I hope to be forever, I am buying beautiful tops, and skirts, that are embroidered with colors, and I am wearing bright colors, with designs from every nation.  Different variations, different styles.  From around the world.   I could certainly wear them now, but they are mostly made in smaller sizes.

Then, once I am finished with schooling, and have the money to take lessons, and buy the right outfits, I am taking up flamenco spanish-style dancing, as well as an indian form of dancing.

Once I am under the right weight limit, can afford it, and can find someone to go with, or at least travel to the station with, I am skydiving.

1 pound of Spinach

Hmmmm.... This is what I found out about spinach.

1 pound, fresh spinach, when steamed, equals 1.5 cups

So I make shakes!

The camp trainers have asked me to incorporate 2lbs of veggies and at least 1 gallon of water into my diet... It is rough to do... it is really difficult to tell you the truth.  I hope this works, and so far shakes are helping.  Sometimes I add fruit juices, or fruit, and add wheat germ.

Don't Stop, Don't Give Up!

Our Boot Camp leaders sent this out to us :)

Yo Gabba Gabba

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If you’re trying to summon the strength to make it through your workout or anything for that matter, little Ryan has a song that’ll do the trick. Granted, she appears to be making the lyrics up as she goes, but that’s just part of the magic.

Just remember: “Don’t stop. Don’t give up. Don’t stop. Don’t give up. Keep trying. You’ll get it right. You’ll get it right.”

http://loadedwithexcuses.com/yo-gabba-gabba/